


Listen to Your Heart

by kayla2011



Category: The Princess Diaries - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2013-10-29
Packaged: 2017-12-30 20:49:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kayla2011/pseuds/kayla2011
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A birthday story for DameJules. Per her request, a little angst and a little romance...This is what I came up with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Listen to Your Heart

“Listen to Your Heart” 

By: Shakayla   
Rating: T mostly (I know…but hey a request is a request!)   
Summary: A birthday story for DameJules who requested a little romance and a little angst.   
Setting: Between PD1 and PD2   
** 

Clarisse focused on the darkness just outside her office window, trying not to shudder when the bolts of lightning cut through sky bathing everything in a flash of light for a few moments before the blackness returned. It had been like this all day. They needed the rain. Of that there was no doubt. The pear trees were suffering from the record breaking drought. Without some rain soon, the harvest would be in danger which could seriously affect both trade and the general economy of this small country. 

She did NOT need that worry. 

Worry seemed to be her constant companion these days. While finding Princess Amelia and obtaining her agreement to embrace her role in the future monarchy of Genovia had alleviated some fears, it was far from a done deal. Her granddaughter was young and tempestuous…both difficult attributes to convince Parliament to embrace and accept. There was a long fight ahead of them, even if no one but she and Joseph realized it.   
Joseph. 

At the thought of her head of security, the room went from darkness to light and the thunder echoed loudly through the palace. Her body reacted physically to the sound just as her body reacted more and more to Joseph these days. He seemed to have that effect on her. Ever since they danced the Wango in San Francisco there was a heightened awareness when they were around each other. Every look, every touch, every expression laden with additional depth and meaning. It was driving her to distraction. His nearness sometimes made her lose her train of thought and the increase in both her pulse and blood pressure could not be healthy on a long term basis. 

Sighing inwardly, she tried to focus. Turning and making her way back to her desk, the thunder continued to roll. No…concentration would not be found anytime soon. Her mind demanded she focus on her work; but her heart… 

C/J 

He watched the darkened sky go through its paces as the storm grew more violent – the intervals between the thunder and lightning growing shorter as the intensity increased. Rubbing his eyes slightly, he tried not to think about how his emotions were closely matched to that of the raging turmoil just outside the palace walls. 

It was that damnable Wango that started it all. Before that…well, before that he had been able to keep those feelings locked away deep inside, only letting small amounts out at a time in order to keep control. Control was what she wanted…apparently what she needed. Her life had been a carefully constructed façade of control. Who was he to chip away at it? The King hadn’t succeeded. It was no secret to anyone in the palace that while the King and Queen were ‘fond’ of each other…no one ever witnessed any sparks of passion. If a King had not been able to make her lose control…what chance did he have? 

There had been glimpses of it…the way her body swayed under his hand that fateful day in San Francisco; the slightly labored breathing when they finished; and, the way those sapphire eyes had darkened when she looked at him. Yes, there was fire under the cool surface – he was certain of it. His mind told him to leave it alone. But his heart… 

C/J 

Placing the pen down, she audibly sighed, drawing a concerned look from her loyal assistant. “Enough for today, Charlotte.” 

Before the young woman could respond, another loud burst of thunder resounded throughout the room making her jump slightly. “I certainly hope the rain comes soon. If we must endure the storm, we should get the rain.” 

“Let us hope that is the case.” Clarisse stood and carefully stretched her limbs, trying to ease the stiffness out of them. An unbidden thought of Joseph’s skilled hands working out the knots and fatigue flitted through her conscious mind causing a slight shiver. 

“Ma’am? Are you alright?” 

A slow deep breath brought things back under control. “Yes dear, just a slight chill. I think I will take dinner in my room tonight then a long warm bath that should help.” 

“Yes ma’am. I’ll advise security and the kitchen staff of your wishes.” 

“Thank you dear.” 

A few quietly spoken words into the small mic that accompanied her earpiece and everyone was alerted to the change in plans. Just a few minutes later, the object of her most recent thoughts was standing at the door waiting to escort her. She inhaled and exhaled slowly before raising her gaze to meet his, offering a sincere smile. “Good evening, Joseph.” 

“Your Majesty.” He hoped his voice sounded calmer than he felt. What was it about storms that put him on edge? 

“Any sign the storm will subside or we will get the much needed rain?” 

“I haven’t heard any weather reports since my lunch, ma’am; but I hope one of those two things happen soon.” 

Charlotte excused herself, leaving the two standing across the room looking at each other. “One doesn’t mind waiting for something, even enduring the storms as long as something good is waiting at the end.” Joseph offered as he waited for her to clear her desk. 

Clarisse looked up sharply to gauge whether his words had a double meaning. His face gave nothing away, so she simply answered. “Agreed.” 

She quickly finished putting things away and tried desperately not to think about what Joseph may be saying to her. As the last drawer was shut, she smiled. “Shall we?” 

Gesturing for her to take the customary lead, “We shall.” 

They walked in companionable silence to her suite, both lost in their own thoughts. Clarisse felt unsettled – more so than she ever had before in her life. The nagging voice in her mind assured her that she had no time for nonsense such as a complicated relationship…and complicated it would be. Shrouded in secrecy for who knows how long, stealing hidden moments together away from the prying eyes of Genovia and Parliament… 

Yet the feelings that being around Joseph elicited responses deep within her soul that had never before surfaced. Rupert had been a wonderful friend, decent husband and kind lover; but passion and desire had never been equated to their relationship. Their lovemaking had been gentle and pleasant. She knew, without a doubt, with Joseph it would be something filled with exquisite intensity. 

Joseph tried hard to focus on something besides the beautiful woman walking next to him. Just the regal way she carried herself as she walked was enough to drive him further into a fantasy world. Did she walk the same way when she was alone in her suite? 

When alone, did she wear pajamas or a gown? Silk or satin? Coughing to cover up and stop his line of thought, he was grateful when they arrived at the door. His gaze caught hers and for a moment in time they both were lost in a sea of sapphire. Finally, he found his senses and lifted her hand to his lips. “Good evening, Your Majesty.” 

Her eyes closed as she felt the velvety softness of his lips against her skin. What she wouldn’t give to feel that whispered touch against more of her sensitive flesh. As he slowly pulled away from her, an overwhelming sense of loneliness washed over her. 

“Joseph?” 

“Yes?” 

“Would you join me for dinner? I was planning on eating in my suite as I’m not up to the main dining room tonight; but I wouldn’t mind a much smaller gathering.” 

Was he being invited to a quiet dinner with his Queen? He had to be sure she was aware of the risks. “Nothing would please me more; but…won’t there be talk?” 

Exhaling audibly, she stifled her first response which included where people could choose to spend eternity should they not approve of her choice of dinner companion. Instead, she smiled knowingly. “I will let Charlotte know that there are a few security   
matters that I wish to discuss with you. As both of our schedules are very busy, a working dinner was in order.” 

Placing another gentle kiss on her hand, he smiled. “That is why you are Queen. You call Charlotte. I’ll inform Shades and I will meet you back here in say twenty minutes.” 

“Just in time for dinner. Sounds wonderful. Thank you, Joseph.” 

He felt her hand on his cheek. For him it was an intimate gesture that gave him hope that her feelings for him ran deeper than she allowed anyone, including him, to see. His mind told him not to get overly excited. It was, after all, just dinner. His mind held doubts; but his heart… 

^^C/J^^ 

Exactly twenty minutes later, Joseph knocked gently on the door to her suite. He didn’t hear a call to come in; but that wasn’t surprising as the storm was in full concert now – thunder, lightning and the much anticipated rain. Deciding to venture inside, he carefully opened the door. “Your Majesty?” 

Nothing… 

The food was still covered and waiting to be eaten; the wine poured; and music playing softly. It even appeared as though the lights had been dimmed somewhat. But no Clarisse. 

He was starting to worry when a flash of lightning illuminated the room and he saw her… 

The outline of her silhouette formed vividly in the bright light. She was standing outside… OUTSIDE!! Instinct kicked in and he ran across the room and flung the door wide. “Clarisse!” 

He was rendered speechless at the sight that greeted him. She was standing on the balcony in the pouring rain. Head upturned, eyes closed and the most beautiful smile on her face. She didn’t turn towards him, instead she called to him. “Joseph…come and   
feel the wonderful rain.” 

Logic thought screamed at him that it was insane. Grown people do not play in the rain! But the sight of her enjoying herself with such abandon… If the Queen of Genovia didn’t mind getting wet, neither did he. And, truth be told, he wanted to experience this with her. Throwing caution to the wind, he stripped off his jacket and tossed it inside. A quick glance told him it landed on the chair next to hers. One step and then two…the cool rain pelted mercilessly onto his frame. Within seconds, his shirt was plastered to his body. Venturing a glance in her direction, his heart almost stopped as the silk blouse had suffered the same fate. The soaked material clung to every curve and clearly outlined the lace of her undergarment. Her name came out as a strained plea… “Clarisse…” 

Hearing her name for the second time, she turned towards the very masculine sound. “I like hearing you say my name. Say it again…” 

The raging storm seemed to fade into the background and all sounds were muted for Joseph save the husky sound of her voice. His mind seemed no longer in control of his actions as he stepped near her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. From this angle, he could see the swell of her ample cleavage and the way her body had visibly responded to the chill in the air. Leaning forward a little, his warm breath washed over her cheek as he whispered in her ear, “Clarisse…” 

Years of control were slowly being washed away with the rain. She felt more alive in this moment than she could ever remember. Joseph’s hands felt warm on her skin and his breath sent shivers of pleasure throughout her body. God help her…she wanted to kiss him – more than she had ever wanted anything for herself. 

He could see it in her eyes. The fire – the passion – the desire…the tenuous control. Closing his eyes as he wasn’t sure he could be responsible for his actions if he continued to look at her, his forehead rested against hers. Their breath mingled and a slight movement forward by either of them would cause their lips to touch. 

Both the rain and storm had eased somewhat…not that it mattered to either of them. They were on the edge of something wonderful; both waiting…warring with themselves. Their minds gave them a thousand reasons why they shouldn’t – but their hearts… 

Time stood still as they just enjoyed the closeness, neither willing to break the spell. Finally, Joseph’s concern for her health won out. “Clarisse,” he whispered. “We should step inside.” 

Nodding, she slowly stepped away and back under the protection of the roof of the patio. “Well, it was fun while it lasted.” 

“I see no reason why we can’t pick up where we left off. I’m just suggesting we do it someplace where it’s warm and dry.” 

Glancing down to see the state of her clothes, a slight blush covered her entire body as she realized the view she had been giving Joseph. “Yes, of course.” 

Once inside, her eyes were fixed on him as he unbuttoned his shirt, removing the soaked garment leaving him in a black tank top. The shoes and socks followed. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed that his slacks did not come next. 

Removing as much of the wet clothes as he thought decorum allowed, he looked up to find her staring intently at him. Darkened eyes told him all he needed to know. Trying to lighten the tension a bit, he smiled. “I thought I would minimize the water trail I would leave on the way to get us some towels.” 

She didn’t trust her voice, so she simply nodded. 

“I will be right back.” 

True to his word, moments later she laughed as he draped one towel over her shoulders and using a smaller towel began to dry her hair. “I can’t remember the last time someone actually dried my hair for me. I feel like a child again.” 

Stopping his actions, he cupped her cheek with his hand and slowly drew his thumb across her full lips. His body tightened as her eyes closed in response, lips parting under the caress. She was so beautiful. “You make me feel young, Clarisse. “ 

It was hard to form a coherent thought as she reeled from his simple, yet power-filled touch. The warning bells in her head were drowned out by the pounding of her heart. “Joseph…” she whispered. 

Deciding she was probably going to warn him off, he slowly removed his hand, letting his fingers caress the underside of her jaw and chin as he withdrew. “You’re right…I’m sorry. I should let you change; I should do the same. I’ll use the passage way. Be back in ten.” 

Before she could say anything further, he was gone. Exhaling slowly, she tried to bury the feelings that had surfaced at his touch. How could such a simple touch have such a far reaching effect on her? A residual tingling where his fingers had caressed her along with a long forgotten fluttering in the pit of her stomach…both leaving her feeling warm and a deep seated need that would not be quelled easily. 

Realizing she needed to get changed before he returned, she shook her head in an effort to clear it from the haze. She should be happy. The rains had come, bringing with it a promise that Genovia’s pear crop would survive and relieving her economic worries. She would be dining with one of the most eligible bachelors in all of Genovia. Her mind told her there was every reason to be pleased and happy with her life as it currently stood. She resolutely ignored the pleas of her heart… 

Joseph mumbled to himself while he dried off and changed. What were you thinking old man? You thought she would just melt at your touch? Fall into your arms? Yes, that had been his hope. Had he misread her so badly? No. He refused to believe that. He had SEEN the way she looked at him; FELT the way her body responded to even the slightest touch; HEARD the huskiness of her voice when she said his name. He sighed heavily. Forcing a smile as he sought to forget the way her body felt so close to his…his mind told him to let it go. He resolutely ignored the pained pleas of his heart… 

C/J 

“Welcome back, Joseph. I took the liberty of pouring you some wine. I thought that might help warm us after our escapade in the rain.” 

Taking the glass from her, their fingers touched. Normally a very innocent gesture, but in the highly charged atmosphere between them…it was so much more. Their eyes met briefly, confirming in a glance that they both had felt it. “Thank you,” he offered softly. “You look radiant…and much warmer.” 

Her face lit up, both at the compliment and the breaking of the tension. “What? This old thing?” 

He laughed at her reference to the “old thing”. A pair of crème slacks and a pale blue angora sweater that gave her an air of soft femininity that took his breath away. It took all of his self-control not to reach out and touch it…touch her. “Yes…that ‘old thing’ looks beautiful on you.” 

“We…thank you…we should eat. It’s probably already cold. I’m sorry.” 

What he wanted to tell her was that he was here for the company not the food. What he said was, “I’m sure it will be just fine.” 

Dinner passed uneventfully with discussions over rumors about various staff members. It was comfortable and Clarisse found that she could be very accustomed to sharing quiet dinners with Joseph. He was intelligent, well-spoken, and treated her as a woman…not his employer…not his Queen. When it was just the two of them, it was simply Clarisse and Joseph – a man and woman who enjoyed each other’s company immensely. As the meal was finished, she found she didn’t want the night to end. “Would you like some tea?” 

“Coffee?” He suggested and started laughing at the face she made. 

“I suppose even after all these years in Genovia, you still haven’t developed a liking for a proper cup of tea?” She teased. 

“I beg your pardon, ma’am…” he replied in mock indignation, “I occasionally enjoy a cup of ‘proper’ tea as you call it, but I still prefer the more manly beverage of coffee for my after dinner drink.” 

Looking back, she had no idea what made her say what she said next. “If I arrange for a cup of your manly beverage, will you dance with me while we wait for it to be brought up?” 

He saw the humor in her eyes; but there was more just below the surface. Not wanting to think about what those emotions could be, he quickly replied. “It would be a small price to pay for such a generous offer.” 

Nodding, she picked up the phone and asked for the customary tea and requested the coffee for Joseph as their meeting had ran late. When she turned around, the music had changed and his hand was extended in invitation. Not wanting to give herself time to change her mind, she stepped into his arms. 

Immediately she felt at home. 

He was right…the sweater was soft, just as he imagined the woman underneath was. She felt so right in his arms; her body swaying in time with his. He pulled her a little closer, relishing the way the soft contours of her body melded so nicely with his. Highly attuned senses sought to remember every nuance of this moment. The smell of her perfume, the warmth of her skin, the way her hair tickled his neck and chin from her head resting near his shoulder. 

This had to be the closest she had ever come to heaven on earth. His strong, hard body holding her…supporting her gave her an utter feeling of peace. His masculine scent permeated her senses and she could feel the beating of his heart on the back of her hand that he held close to his chest. It was totally improper for her to be so close to him, her head resting on him…but first and foremost she was a woman. While men constantly fawned after her and lobbied for her time and attention, there was only one that   
knew the woman behind the Crown and appreciated her for simply that. She ignored the voices in her head that tried to warn her that this was a bad idea and snuggled further into his embrace. 

The music faded but neither moved to disengage from the embrace. He couldn’t bring himself to be the one to step away. He could hold her like this forever. As she didn’t seem to be in a hurry to end the moment, he continued to hold her. His hand made small circles on her lower back and he was almost sure he heard her murmur appreciatively. 

The timing of fate could be cruel and it proved as much when a knock on the door caused reality to barge in on their little piece of heaven. Unable to ignore the person at the door, Clarisse sighed and with a look of apology to match his look of disappointment, she moved towards the insistent sound. 

Joseph had taken a seat on the couch. When she returned with the tray, he teased. “You just HAD to have your evening tea, didn’t you?” 

“Had I known the after dinner entertainment was to be so stimulating perhaps I would have foregone my usual routine.” 

Once again, surprise at her response silenced him. He simply smiled and accepted the coffee. Watching as she added sugar to her tea, he knew that one evening would never be enough. God help him…he was ever so slowly falling in love with this beautiful and utterly complicated woman. 

After sipping her tea for a bit, she turned towards him. “Joseph, I wanted to clear up a miscommunication from earlier.” 

“Miscommunication?” 

She took another sip for courage. Unsure why she just couldn’t let this go…but then again, avoiding the proverbial elephant in the room had never been her style. “Yes, when we had come in from the rain and were trying to dry off some.” 

“I’m afraid I still don’t follow.” 

“When you…” she exhaled slowly, finally lifting her head to meet his eyes. “When you touched my cheek and my lips.” 

His eyes darkened, remembering the moment and the way she had felt. “Oh yes, I do remember that…” 

“I said your name and I believe you took that as a sign that we should stop.” 

Slight shock registered on his face. “It wasn’t?” 

She slowly shook her head. 

He reached out and repeated his actions from earlier. Her lips felt warm from the tea as the pad of his thumb moved across the softness. Feeling the soft exhale of her breath and seeing her eyes close, he knew he hadn’t been dreaming earlier. His voice was a mere whisper, “Then tell me, my beautiful Clarisse, what had you intended to say earlier.” 

“Joseph…” she whispered again. Her hand covered his and she turned her head slightly to place several small kisses on his palm. “Are you willing to endure the storms with me?” 

He had kissed her hand a thousand times, but this was the first time she had kissed his. The reaction of his body was immediate and intense. It made it hard to think clearly. “I don’t understand.” 

Keeping a firm hold on his hand, she turned to look at him once again. “In my office before, you said that one was willing to endure the storms if they knew the rain was coming. Everything in my head tells me this is a bad idea. Any relationship I might have would have to endure what can best be described as a storm. The watchful eye of Parliament, the expectations of thousands, and duty as my master not to mention the demands on my schedule, which you know all too well – all of these things are reasons my mind gives me for not acting on the feelings I’ve developed for you.” 

Was she admitting she had feelings for him? Was she suggesting that she would be interested in pursuing a relationship with him? It was hard not to get his hopes up. “My mind tells me similar things; but my heart….my heart tells a different story. What does your heart say, Clarisse?” 

Moving closer to him on the couch until they were almost touching, she answered. “My heart says that a chance like this only comes around once in a lifetime. It tells me that long after my duties as Queen have ended, I will be sorry if I don’t find someone to truly share my life with. I’ve shared my life with thousands, but no one has ever shared theirs with me. My heart says I can’t ignore the way I feel when you look at me…when you touch me…and, perhaps sometime very soon, when you kiss me.” 

Using the hand that still rested on her cheek, he pulled her face towards his until their foreheads were touching again. Tilting his head slightly, his lips barely brushed across hers in a feather-like touch. Shared breaths mingled as heart rates steadily increased. His thumb slipped between their mouths, sweeping across the bottom lip, his mouth following to capture it in a gentle kiss. 

This was maddening…she wanted to feel his lips fully on hers. Taking control, she moved her mouth against his. Gently at first, tentatively exploring and enjoying the taste of coffee as the kiss deepened. Her lips were soft and insistent, melding with his as though they were made to do only this. 

Joseph returned her kiss with intense desire, his tongue following the earlier path of his thumb. Just as it had before, her lips parted, accepting him into her warmth. He heard a low moan escape from her throat at the intimacy of the act. He could feel the blood coursing through his veins gaining momentum as their tongues battled for dominance in the kiss. He had known all along that beneath that cool exterior lay a fiery woman just waiting to be released. 

The need for air pulled them apart, labored breathing filling the spacious room. “I have two things to say…” he panted. 

“I’m impressed you can think straight…much less talk – after that,” came the breathy reply. 

“Only of you my dear…only of you.” 

“So what to things do you have to say?” 

“First, yes.” 

“Yes?” 

“Yes, I am more than willing to endure the storms. And, you should know, I would endure the storms even without the promise of rain in the future.” 

“Oh Joseph….” She kissed him again, a gentler touch but still a connection that promised of much more to come. “And second?” 

“And lastly, I know all of the arguments against this. Your mind, as well as mine, will always try to tell us that this doesn’t make sense and that we should pretend as if none of this…” He gently kissed her on the lips then let his kiss move across her cheek and down the column of her throat. With a hand on her waist and one tangled in her hair, he could feel the way her body responded to his efforts. “As if none of this ever happened. So every time your mind tries to tell you that this isn’t meant to be or it’s not worth the storm, I ask that you simply listen to your heart…” 

"Sounds like the best advice I've received in years.  Now Joseph?" 

"Yes?" 

"My heart tells me you should kiss me again." 

A/N: So I decided there was more to the story to tell. This picks up almost 5 years into the future at that moment in PD when all of the C/J hearts broke for a while… 

Chapter 2 

^^C/J^^ 

“Have you been thinking about us?” 

“Yes, I have.” 

She didn’t have to say a word…Joseph could tell from the look on her face that whatever she had to say was NOT going to be what he wanted to hear. The battle was over. He had lost. Her heart had lost. THEY had lost. 

“I see,” was the only response he could muster 

The look on his face caused her heart to break. It wasn’t a no – just a not yet. Her heart screamed at her to pull him back into her arms and never let go. But she had made her choice: duty over love – logic over her emotion – her mind over her heart. 

She needed to say something…but for the first time in her life, words failed her. She felt the first pain of separation as he moved away from her. “If you’ll excuse me.” 

He hadn’t taken but a few steps when the pull of her heart became too large to ignore. She took a few hurried steps to catch up with him and grabbed his arm. “No…Joseph! You had to know what I was going to say! Mia needs me now – more than ever before. It’s the monarchy – I mean as Queen, it’s my responsibility. You know how it is.” Her words sounded hollow – even to her own ears. 

There were more emotions running through him at that moment than he could name. It was only years of intense training that kept him from voicing his true thoughts. Instead, he inwardly admitted defeat and left her with the only words he could muster. “You were never just my Queen, Clarisse. You were the someone that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” 

She started to interrupt but his words cut her off. 

“But…if you prefer that I see you first and foremost as my Queen…I shall oblige.” 

He was hurt. She knew that and it broke her heart. She had lost him. Not wanting to deny herself of what may be her final touch, she reached up and cupped her hand to his cheek. “Joseph.” 

The brief touch ended all too soon as he bowed and pulled away from her. “Your Majesty.” 

Realizing her touch was not welcome at the moment – perhaps never again, she withdrew her hand. 

Their eyes locked, blue against blue speaking volumes. For the first time in her life, she could not see beyond the pain, the hurt especially as she felt totally responsible for being the one to cause it. 

He couldn’t take it anymore. The sympathy; the sadness; the heartbreak. Breaking the connection, he turned and walked away. Maybe he would be able to talk to her later; to find words to let her know how deeply this affected him; to say good-bye… 

The cruel mistress of duty held her steadfastly in her position. There was nothing she could say that would help matters. Maybe later she could talk to   
**   
She couldn’t go after him again…it wouldn’t be right; no…that had nothing to do with it; it wouldn’t matter. He was upset and deeply hurt; anything that she would say right now would only make matters worse. She decided it would be best to wait until later this evening and then try to talk to him again. 

She would go to his room tonight and ask him to give her just a little more time. 

She sighed…time was no longer on her side. She was quickly approaching the twilight years of her life; and, she feared that though she was surrounded by thousands…she would face those years alone.


End file.
